Paradox

I kill myself everyday.
Thought by thought,
Breath by breath.
Pushing a knife,
Deeper into my heart.
I twist and turn,
I gasp and shiver.
Then I smile.
Whimsically, if you please,
At the paradox,
This seems to be.
A beating heart,
With blood and all.
A sign of life,
St(r)ained with life.
Full of love,
As the saying goes.
But none for me,
No, not for me.
It's all for someone,
Who needs not me.
Let the beating stop,
I pray, I wish.
It's killing me,
I cry, I swear.
It's merciless,
My loving heart.
So I dig a hole,
Just my fistsize.
Everywhere,
Every now.
A little part of me,
Anyday.
Oh yes!
I kill myself everyday.

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Yours fearfully, #Nirbhaya

Dear M.L Sharma and A.P. Singh,

You see I know who you are- The blessed progeny of Adam who holds the reins to the life and death of the ill-cursed breed, called woman (woe-man?!). Damn you, Eve, you wretched, disgraceful little thing! Didn't the respected Mr. Adam tell you how to dress, how to sit, eat, bathe, breathe, live, die? Didn't he tell you to stay away from the Pandora's box, from the 'desires' of life, to wipe that ugly smile off your face and plop yourself in one corner of the globe, barely breathing? However, you couldn't listen, could you? Its all YOUR fault. You have unleashed the evil torrent of hu-MAN-ity onto yourself, on your own bidding. Be ready to be groped, stripped, raped, beaten and killed because you dared to look out of that well, Adam sentenced you into. Am I right, Mr. Sharma, Mr. Singh? Please do correct me so, because you see I am Eve too, I need to be taught a lesson.

Sirs, (or do you prefer Masters?) Iam overcome by irrepressible desires. I think, yesterday when I stepped out of the protected sphere of my house, covered from head to toe, I incited a young man to touch me. You see, I forgot to cover my fingers; I waved them about, flashing my painted nails right in front of his eyes, in a lustful dance move, making obscene gestures with my fingers as I went about my chore. I sinned, my good MAN; I tore through the pristine white sheet of Indian culture. What do I do now? Should I burn myself to death or are you on your way to that to me? Please do punish me so, because you see I am Eve too, I need to be taught a lesson.

I like how you compared me to a flower. Beautiful, soft, pleasant! You opened my eyes as you explained that a flower is only worth till its kept in a place of worship; you throw it down a gutter and no one will ever touch it again, like the dirty woman. But I like lotuses, yes the same ones that grow in the gutter, mud and slush. Iam scared, Sir. I think the flowers and I are sinning, again. Iam the dirty woman. Should my petals be ripped off and sunk down the same gutter I belong to? Please do show me my place, because you see Iam Eve too, that too a lotus loving one, I need to be taught a lesson.

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But all men are not like you. Some tell me to open the pandora's box, some tell me to leap out of the well, some tell me to smell the lotus; they look into my eyes and tell me they see more than breasts and a vagina. They hold my hand and together we peep out of the universe of gender, we swim away from the deep oceans of tradition and emerge on the other side of the world, where you don't exist. Who are these men? Or are they even men? Should they be thrown together with my lot? Please do tell me, because you see they are Eve too, we all need to be taught a lesson.

However, when you are done teaching me all the lessons, I want to teach you one too. Incase, just incase, you forgot, I gave life to you. I gave you the right to live, even as they aborted my baby girl. I held you close and warm inside me, bore silently the excruciating pain of childbirth, took care of you like delicate flower (yes, a flower), hoping against hope that you will remember the lesson of womanhood I was teaching you. But you forgot, and so did I. So, please teach me, because you see I am Eve too, I need to be taught a lesson.

Yours fearfully
#Nirbhaya

Movie Review: BABY

Movie: BABY

Director: Neeraj Pandey

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Rana Daggubatti, Tapsee Pannu, Anupam Kher, Danny Denzonga, Mikaal Zulfiqar and Rasheed Naz

Genre: Thriller

Every other day, when some or the other part of the country is burning up in flames in the name of terrorism and communalism, I am overcome by this irresistible itch to smack down atleast one bad guy in my lifetime. Wouldn’t it have been altogether too easy and convenient if all the bad guys were just within arm-reach and if we could bundle them together in a room, and punch them our hearts out? Well, we both know that ain’t happening, and sadly, enough, the Miss. Peace-loving-goody-two-shoes that Iam, I doubt if I will even swat a fly in my lifetime. So for people like me and the others around, Bollywood comes out with patriotic thrillers like BABY, setting our blood surging, heart racing and adrenaline pumping. More than anything else, BABY is a reminder about the many Indian officers who are engaged in risky, life threatening, undercover operations to ensure that we eat, sleep and enjoy our lives in safe confines of our country. Watching BABY just a day before Republic Day, makes me want to salute every single officer who will march down Rajpath tomorrow, with their heads held high and proud to be serving their motherland.

In the backdrop of the post 26/11 Mumbai, a special investigation team is formed and is assigned a top secret mission to hunt down terrorists and rip open the veil over their plans to attack India. Out of the 12 officers who were deployed, only 4 remain. The movie is about the last operation carried out by this team.  

Akshay Kumar is brilliant as an officer heading an undercover operation. He looks like a man who knows his job and has no second thoughts about it. Anupam Kher and Rana Daggubatti deliver very good performances as the other officers in the team. Despite a short role, Tapsee Pannu will floor you in an action packed sequence (trust me I had to forcibly suppress a whistle). Pakistani British actor Mikaal Zulfiqar does a fine job in the movie and veteran Pakistani actor Rasheed Naz is well cast into the role of a most wanted terrorist.

Though on the whole I loved the movie, I do have a few bones to pick with it, so let me lay it down for you. Among the things I loved (the most) are a) the storyline is unwavering from its path. Not even for a second will you be drawn into wondering, irritably, as to where the story is headed; b) there are no songs, well there is one but it barely there takes your focus off the main track; c) all the actors are so well cast that you cannot have had it better and d) the locations are well shot and technical details have been well catered to.

Things I did not like are a) certain scenes which would have been major troublesome circumstances in real life, were portrayed as near about cakewalks; b) some parts were a tad dragged and could have been wound up faster and c) sometimes (just sometimes!) Akshay Kumar’s stoic expressions made him look plastic and lifeless.

A movie for all ages though maybe not kids as in my hall I had atleast 5 little ones loitering around the entire place, so they were clearly bored. Overall, BABY is a fantastic way of getting in touch with your patriotic spirit. So, go for it soldier!

Stars: *** & ½