Saturday 31 August 2013

The Sound of Silence

She stood stark naked in the darkness of her room illuminated only by a shiny ray of moonlight trickling in through the half shut window. She had hidden the candle and the matchbox somewhere in the room but she just couldn’t recall where. After awhile of groping about in the dark, she finally found them below her mattress. She lit the candle and suddenly the room seemed alive. Throwing elongated shadows on the walls, the yellow glaring eye of the candle cast its sight on her body. She held the candle close to her face and ran a finger on the melting wax forming tiny white pearl drops on the candle’s body. “It’s time” the voice whispered behind her. She sighed softly and closed her eyes as if in prayer. Then she bent forward and held the candle between her legs, setting afire her vaginal hair. A searing pain shot through her spine, sending down shivers all over the body. She screamed out aloud in pain; a scream that left her lips silently and vanished into the dark corners of the room. But the pain had to be borne, it was her penance. “Your penance will bring him back” assured the voice. She proceeded on with her act of burning herself till the room was clogged with the stink of burns and with an undetected faint fragrance of satisfaction. Soon she passed out on the floor in pain. 

She was 25 when a biker snatched her chain when she stood waiting for the bus at a roadside. The shock left her numb for a week and soon after she started displaying erratic behavior and severe mood swings. After several rendezvous with physicians and psychiatrists, she was diagnosed with clinical depression. There on began her never ending association with doctors and medicines. Locked within the confines of her room, she lost sense of the day and time. Pushed down a desolate road of unhappiness and loneliness, she constructed a silent world for herself. Nobody but her family knew about her illness. Fearing social stigma, they guarded their little secret with utmost care. 

 She did not know when it all started but she remembered being increasingly aware of a voice calling out to her. Faint at first, she shrugged her shoulders and ignored the strange voice. But the voice grew louder every day till one day she clamped her fingers into her ears to drive away the voice pounding on her eardrums. When after awhile she withdrew her fingers the voice was gone. Scared and trembling, as she looked around her room, the voice called out to her again, though this time softly and gently as if caressing her.

“I know how it feels to be alone. I can feel your pain as my own. I want to be your friend.”

“But who are you and why can’t I see you?” she asked

“My name is Nazna. You cannot see me because I come from another world. But from now on I will live with you forever. But you cannot talk about me to anyone or else I will have to kill you. Our friendship is our secret.” The voice replied.

A friendship, which was formed in the secret, became her escape from the clutches of reality. She could speak her heart out with Nazna who understood her pain like her own. She would share secrets with Nazna who assured her of safekeeping. She shed tears of abandonment and Nazna lulled her to sleep with her lullabies. Soon Nazna became a friend she never had. The silent world that she had created was now ringing with laughter, chatter, tears and happiness. But this did not go unnoticed in the real world. The doctors were informed and her medicine dosage was increased. The effect of the tranquilizers made her groggy and made Nazna’s voice sound faint and distant. She could hear Nazna calling out to her as she fell deeper into a sleep state.

“Get her married off.” the psychiatrist advised her father.
“Hers is just a mild case of clinical depression which got triggered by the chain snatching incident. Her imaginary friend is a side effect of the medicines which will be cured by the strong dosage that I have prescribed. The hormonal changes in her body that will occur as a result of an intercourse after marriage, will help bring about the necessary stability in her mental state. So my professional advice to you is to get her married into a good family. Though take care to not miss the course of her medicine. I am certain in a few months she will not need medicines any more.” Her father was assured.

A man with a good name and standing in the society, her father had no trouble finding her an eligible groom. The prevailing social norms did not call for a formal meeting between the boy and the girl, so only photos were exchanged.  With the marriage fixed and the date decided, her tranquilizers were reduced and she woke up to the news of her wedding. After the strong dose of medicines she was feeling better though she realized she could no longer hear Nazna’s voice. In the privacy of her room she tried calling out to Nazna; no voice answered her. But excited and elated with all the attention showered on her, she sailed through the pre- wedding days in a dreamlike state.

Soon the wedding day came and the bride was decked up. The wedding bells rang clear and loud and the bride and groom were declared man and wife. A tearful parting gave way to nervousness which coiled inside her stomach like a snake. Shyly and coyly she entered into her new house with the man who would now be her companion for life through sickness and health. She was shown into his room; no it was her room also now. She sat on the bed waiting for her man. The wedding night had begun!
Back home her father heaved a sigh of relief; finally there was no secret to guard and no stigma to be scared of.

Two weeks later she was back at her father’s house, bags packed and suitcases locked. Not a word was said to her and neither was any eye contact made. One fine morning, he packed her bags loaded them into the car, asked her sit and drove down to her father’s house. As her mother took her inside, she heard heated words being exchanged between her father and him, and then the door slammed shut. His footsteps crunched the gravel angrily as he walked towards the car. She run upstairs and climbed on the slab near the window ledge. Hanging onto the window railing she could see him walk away. And there she stood every single day waiting for him to come back and take her with him. The stranger she had grown to love had abandoned her like a stranger.

 Her only comfort was that Nazna had returned. On the wedding night, Nazna had whispered in her ear. She berated Nazna for disappearing without a word. Having Nazna around, she felt more comfortable in the new house. She could be often heard talking to Nazna in the garden; while working in the kitchen; even when taking a bath. Her friend did not go unnoticed by her new family. A search of her suitcase exposed her well guarded secret; prescriptions and unused medicines bellowed of treachery. The girl was mad, and they had been cheated.

“You have to pay penance” Nazna hissed in her ear. “Your husband left you because you were not a good wife to him. Now, he will only accept you if you pay penance.”
She did not respond.
“Listen to me! You will be left in this dark hole for the rest of your life if you don’t listen to me. Penance is the only way to go back to your husband.” The voice screeched.
She was scared. Of late Nazna had become more dominating and demanding of her. But she also wanted to get back to her husband.
“What do I have to do?” she asked.
“Burn yourself. There is no greater penance than suffering pain. But you have to bear the pain in silence.” Nazna whispered excitedly.


She sneaked stealthily out of her room and returned awhile later. In her hand she clutched a candle and a matchbox. After tonight her sufferings would end and he would come back for her. Just this night! Just this one night, Nazna agreed.

Thursday 29 August 2013

A War on the Clouds


It was yet another day of heavy downpour. It had been raining heavily everywhere and reports of flood in various parts of the country were flashed by news channels all day. While everybody was bothered by the incessant rains, Vedant had more than one reason to be worried. He was standing near the windowsill, looking up at the sky; the usually blue sky was today dotted with white spongy, mist like clouds at some places whereas at others black smoky, angry clouds loomed over the sky.

“The war is just intensifying.” Vedant muttered to himself. He pulled out of his pocket a vial of shimmering purple liquid. He took a white sheet of paper and spilled two tiny drops of liquid onto the sheets. Within seconds the liquid droplets scattered across the sheet to form a sentence “There are no messages.” and then disappeared. Vedant, looking dejected and disappointed, folded the sheet of paper and hit it between his clothes in his cupboard. As the evening approached the rains slowed down to a drizzle but the sky was still dense with dark clouds.

“The war has been called off for the day, I think. But judging by the dark clouds, it was a gruesome battle.” Vedant thought to himself. All, he could now do was wait for a message summoning him to the battle filed.

12 year old Vedant was no ordinary child. He was a part of a group of stars sent down to earth to be born as humans; it was the job of these star kids to monitor activities on earth and then send a detailed report to the Lord. Vedant was entrusted with an even more special job - to act as an arbitrator between hell and heaven. Contrary to the popular belief on earth, hell was not below the earth; rather the sky was divided into two equal parts, Heaven- the angel’s abode and Hell – the devil’s retreat. Every departed soul spent time in both these places, depending on their sins or good deeds. There had been peace between them until recently when all hell broke loose over an argument as to who was Lord’s favorite. Heaven and hell declared a war on each other. This was the cause of the incessant rains. The angels fought with thunderbolts and devils fought with lightening spears. Every time the war would intensify the clouds would darken up and whenever a thunderbolt or a lightening spear would strike the clouds, it would rain on earth.


The morning dawned dull and restless. There was a slight drizzle which threatened to turn the morning into another day of thunderstorm. Vedant was impatiently waiting to be summoned by the lord to help resolve the war. He once again took out the white sheet of paper from his cupboard, dropped two drops of purple liquid on to the sheets. He waited for a while, but nothing happened. Just as he was about to fold the sheet back, a message in bold letters appeared.” URGENT. REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO THE LORD’S DWELL” Vedant smiled grimly and folded the paper. He went to his mother and lied about completing his homework at a friend’s place. Once out of the house he headed towards the unused shed in his backyard. He opened the door and went inside. He, once, peeped out of the window to ensure no one was around. Then, he touched a star shaped sapphire stone on his index finger of his right hand. Immediately it began to glow brighter and brighter till he entire room was engulfed in the bright light. Vedant shouted, “LORD’S DWELL” and in a split second disappeared from the shed.
Humble servant paced restlessly up and down his room. Vedant had been summoned an hour ago and there was still no trace of him. Humble was Lord’s right hand man and headed the department of prayers, wishes and dreams. He had requested lord to summon Vedant earlier to resolve the war, but Lord had ordered “Let hell and heaven have a chance to sort out their differences on their own.” But now after two days of the war, lord had ordered Humble servant to summon Vedant.

This was Vedant’s second visit to the Lord’s dwell. The first time he had only met Humble Servant, who had initiated him as a star kid and trained him for his job. He had never met the Lord himself. Lord’s dwell was on the highest whitest and the spongiest cloud in the whole sky. The moment he reached, he briskly marched up to Humble’s room. On seeing Vedant, he quickly turned about and marched to the other end of the hall. Vedant understood there was no type to exchange pleasantries and he quietly followed Humble. At the end of the hall was a door; a plain looking simple arch shaped door. Humble said, “Step in Vedant, the lord wants to meet you alone.” Vedant nodded his head, opened the door and he stepped inside. The door clang shut behind him. Vedant had always wondered how the lord looked like. Down on earth lord had different forms and names but Vedant had always been curious about lord’s true form; and today he was going to meet the lord for himself. It was a large room and was completely empty. A glass ceiling allowed the warm sunlight to penetrate into the room and to Vedant’s amazement as the sunlight fell on the walls of the room, various images flashed across the wall; of kids playing, people praying, happy lives, busy lives, sad faces, excited faces.

Suddenly a voice boomed behind him, “Vedant my child, the day has come for you to help the world from an impending disaster.” Vedant looked around the room to locate the source of the voice, but there was no one in the room. The voice rang again,”You cannot see me Vedant; I am everywhere yet I am nowhere. It is man who has given me a form a figure; I am all but that tiny voice that rattles your conscience every time you sin.” Vedant closed his eyes and bowed in respect.
“Now Vedant both devil and angel, are my children and I love them equally. Both of them have a duty to perform and they play an important role in regulating the balance between good and evil in the world. This fight between them has made them blind towards their duties. Vedant now is your time to put your training and hard work to effect and settle the dispute between them.”
“Yes my lord, bless me so that I can do my best”
“You always have my blessings”

Vedant along with Humble approached the war caps. Though souls can never be killed they could be injured; the war camp looked more like a hospital’s casualty ward with injured soul-diers on both sides of the warring teams. Vedant and humble decided to meet angel first.

The angel’s war camp was brimming with activities. Strategies for the next day’s attack was being drawn out, weapons were being polished and checked for their dents and damages and wounded souls were being attended to. Dressed in a suit of armor over his silk flowing gown, angel was a sight for irony. His white robe had for long, as long as time could remember, been the symbol of calm and peace. His helmet was adorned with a red and white feather. When he saw Humble and Vedant approaching, he dismissed his workers and welcomed them into his tent. “Did lord send you?” he directly asked. Vedant smiled and replied,” Sire angel, what is the basis of this war? I am sure you are aware of the havoc it is causing on earth. Is this war absolutely necessary? Can we not resolve the issue over talks?

“How dare he claim to be lord’s favorite?” angel thundered. “I represent the good and the devil stands for the evil. Every soul wants to enter into heaven not hell. Angel’s are loved by humans but no one loves the devil. Then how can he be lord’s favorite? No, Vedant, this issue cannot be resolved by talks.” After an hour of persuading, angel finally agreed to meet the devil in Vedant’s presence before beginning the war next day.

Next Vedant and humble approached the devil’s camp. The devil looked ferocious and scary with black metal armor and skull helmet.

“I will not meet that high and mighty angel. I am the one who bears the burden of the world’s evil. I punish the souls for their sins and prepare them to be eligible to enter heaven. When I worker harder than angel, how dare he claim to be lord’s favorite.”

Vedant sighed and persuaded devil to meet angel once more before he decides on tomorrow’s attack.


Vedant stared at humble across the table; they had been sitting there for quite awhile now and still angel and devil had not spoken a word to each other. They were all sitting around a round table; with angel and devil sitting across each other. Vedant asked,” Do you both know why lord created both of you?” both angel and devil looked at Vedant curiously. “He wanted to balance the existence of good and evil in the world. Had there been no hell, the world would be filled with sinners and had there been no heaven, goodness would have never been appreciated. So you are both very important for the existence of earth. You both together maintain the balance of the earth; no one is more or less important than the earth. We all have a duty to perform and doing the best in our work is what brings us closer to lord. Then how can any one of you be lord’s favorite? He loves you both equally and he wants you to call off this war.”

Both angel and devil looked at each other sheepishly. They realized their foolishness and shook hands to call off the war. Humble said to Vedant,” You have successfully completed your first mission. Congratulations young man” Vedant smiled and replied,” I am happy the war has been called off. Its getting late I better head home, my mother will be getting worried.” 



Vedant rang the doorbell of his house. His mother opened and the door, and looking at Vedant’s tired face she remarked “You look exhausted Vedant. It’s as if you weren’t doing your homework rather you were busy saving the world from some catastrophe.”

Vedant winked and smiled to himself.