Paradox

I kill myself everyday.
Thought by thought,
Breath by breath.
Pushing a knife,
Deeper into my heart.
I twist and turn,
I gasp and shiver.
Then I smile.
Whimsically, if you please,
At the paradox,
This seems to be.
A beating heart,
With blood and all.
A sign of life,
St(r)ained with life.
Full of love,
As the saying goes.
But none for me,
No, not for me.
It's all for someone,
Who needs not me.
Let the beating stop,
I pray, I wish.
It's killing me,
I cry, I swear.
It's merciless,
My loving heart.
So I dig a hole,
Just my fistsize.
Everywhere,
Every now.
A little part of me,
Anyday.
Oh yes!
I kill myself everyday.

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